SoHo? East Village? I don't think we're in Kansas City anymore...

By Mark Forsythe The Kansas City Post J.J. Maloney once wrote that like every city, Kansas City dreams of greatness. We're known as a cowtown. Our biggest annual event still is the American Royal, during which journalists shake cow patties from their shoes. Kansas Citians are sensitive about that image, feeling it gives us a "hick" reputation. We promote Kansas City as the birthplace of jazz, a claim other cities dispute. We call Kansas City the home of great barbecue; the local media devotes great attention to that subject. Such is the desperation for an identity. It occurs to me that as we move into the 21st Century our search for an identity seems to have come to an end; in New York City. I think it started for me with the SoHo Lofts. At the time the name didn't really bother me too much. It was a private development and therefore none of my business. If the owner wanted to lead everyone to believe that his lofts were south of Houston Street, than so be it. Of course I still haven't found a Houston Street in Kansas City, but with the recent spate of New York imitation I'm confident there will be. I'm thinking 12th Street is a likely candidate. Right in front of Barney Allis Plaza, which of course will have to be renamed Times Square. During the Barnes administration, the mayor went on a naming frenzy. First she coined the term River-Crown-Plaza which at least is relatively unique. Useful? Not so much. Perhaps after a trip to Manhattan, or just a drive down Main past the SoHo Lofts, the mayor came up with the SoLo District. Fortunately that name hasn't really caught on either. People seem to prefer Crossroads much better. It seems appropriate that the controversial J.E. Dunn headquarters was christened The East Village. How original. So I guess that makes the area encompassing the Jackson County Courthouse, City Hall and the Federal Courthouse, Greenwich Village? Why not drop the pretense and just call the Plaza lower Manhattan? Now the latest act of Kansas City un-originality is the Grand Avenue of the Americas. New York City has an Avenue of the Americas, so I guess we have to have one too. $45,000 for some flags and fake signs so we can once again pretend to be something we're not. Forget that Grand Avenue has its own Kansas City history including the fact that its width was determined by Mayor E. Milton McGee who decreed that Grand must be wide enough that he could turn his sulky around without having to stop his horse and back up. But I guess something that identifies with a horse and buggy hits our cowtown sensitivity a little too hard. I wonder how the late mayor would feel about the naming alteration of his grand avenue? Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but I say New York doesn't need the admiration of Kansas City. They're doing fine on their own. We have enough history and pride of our own to be uniquely KC. It's time we turn inward and just be ourselves.