When all else fails, baffle them with... bureaucracy?

By Mark Forsythe The Kansas City Post Mayor Funkhouser has seemingly decided that rather than focus on his campaign promises; efficient government, basic city services and fiscal responsibility he will instead try and create useless layers of bureaucracy. The mayor recently claimed he "heard over and over on the campaign trail and since taking office that immigrants want a point of contact at City Hall to help with incorporating new arrivals into the Kansas City community." This ranks right up there with "I was asked to run", "I've received numerous phone calls from community leaders" and my favorite "I'm a consensus builder." Vague proclamations of support lend no credibility to the argument. Even in the face of valid criticism, and with a looming budget deficit the mayor is sending two staffers to Chicago for a big conference on Immigrant Integration. I can't prove the things I heard "over and over" on the campaign trail but there is a record of the questions asked repeatedly at public forums. The candidates were queried about development incentives, the school district and basic city services. A quick check back through my notes does not show one question regarding "Will you establish an office of immigration at City Hall?" In fact I heard nothing about immigration on the campaign trail. Perhaps the mayor needs to go over his notes again. Mayoral aide Crispin Rea implied that "a City Hall person" could help immigrants with any number of issues. Our immigrant population in Kansas City is diverse as it is large. If one person is going to be tasked with handling all that, it's going to take one amazing individual! Where will we find this magical person? That's going to be some help wanted ad! Wanted: Office of Immigration Administrator. The successful candidate must be fluent in at least seven (preferably many more) languages. Will be an expert in cultures as diverse and far-ranging as Chinese to Somalian and everywhere in between. Must be able to move seamlessly across religious boundaries and have a background in dispute resolution amongst mono and poly-theistic, agnostic, and atheistic beliefs as well as the thousands of sub-categories of each. Will have legal expertise in the area of immigration from sovereign nations of every continent. Candidate must be a people person, consensus builder, self-starter and any other worthless buzz expression currently making the corporate circuit. As always, preference will be given to applicants with previous work experience from the city of Denver. I seem to remember estimates around $1 million per year for a landlord licensing office. Could an office of immigration cost any less? Let's take a look at what the mayor could accomplish with the $1 million he wants to spend on his latest boondoggle. Dangerous Buildings - Originally we had a City Hall employee who brokered agreements to get abandoned buildings into the hands of individuals (not developers) who would rehabilitate and live in them. This saved a great deal of our historic housing stock and essentially paid for itself by saving the City the cost of condemning, boarding up and eventually demolishing the structures. The position was eliminated for "budgetary reasons." Greenhouse Facilities - Also another victim of budget cuts, the City used to maintain a full nursery to grow its own street trees as well as plants for parks and public right-of-ways. At the minimum we should be growing our own trees instead of funneling huge bucks to private nurseries. Metal Plates - Instead of the useless legislation passed a few weeks ago, actually implement a real program for metal plates in the street. I have just listed three things off the top of my head over a half cup of coffee. I'm sure there are even better things the City can be doing with a million dollars. Especially a million dollars we don't even have.